Are You Stuck, Or Is Your Foot On The Brake?

One of the most common issues that I hear from clients is “I’m Stuck”.  (Note to reader: I am not talking about being physically stuck like Winnie the Pooh after eating all the honey)  What does “Being stuck” really mean?  Being stuck in the most negative context is a state of utter perplexity prohibiting action or speech.  It is a feeling of being a victim of circumstance, or of our own thinking. A perception of having no control over the outcome.  A state of mind where we have low physical and emotional energy, and a lack of desire to change the current situation.

Many times when we feel stuck it is really that we have our foot on the brake.  Having our foot on the brake differs from being stuck on many levels.  We are the ones choosing to stay in that place, we have control over when we move on, we are aware at some level, conscious or subconscious that we are choosing to do this, however, we may not be fully aware of why.  We put the brake on for many reasons; in my experience they usually fall into one or more of the following categories.

• More time is needed and/or certain things need to happen before we move ahead.  This is usually a positive and empowering feeling; we are aware of being in control of the situation and have a plan to follow through.
• We are not sure that we want to go forward but feel like it is the “right thing” to do.  This is usually when we are trying to please others or live up to certain expectations that we are not fully in alignment with.
• We are afraid of what will happen if we move forward.  This fear can be emotional, physical or spiritual.  Typically the fear is based on the story that we tell ourselves about the outcome.  What if I am not successful?  Good enough?  Smart enough? What will people say/think? (If they are not your board of directors)  One of my favorite influencers Dr Brené Brown writes about these emotions in an open and honest manner, filled with humor and feeling.  Her latest book “Daring Greatly” talks about vulnerability, I highly recommend reading it if you, like me, are not good at “Vulnerability”.

If you feel “Stuck” ask yourself am I stuck, or is my foot on the brake?  Reframing allows you to feel like you have control over the situation (Hint: you usually do). Knowing that you have choices lets you evaluate the reasons that you are in this position, along with possible alternatives.  You can then choose to take your foot off the brake and move forward at your own speed.  Yes there will be bumps and sharp turns along the way but you will be a better driver because of it.